Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
