But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
