So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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