There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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