we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
