Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
