Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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