1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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