let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
