Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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