so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
