Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize