I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
