so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
