The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
