i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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