she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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