so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
