your thong is hanging out like whoa
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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