just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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