If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
