SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My ATM looks so different sober.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
