i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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