i don't plan on having that self control this summer
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
