If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
