Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize