I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
