Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize