you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
