i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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