Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
