dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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