im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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