All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
