The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
