I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
