As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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