it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
