You're a womanizer and a bitch.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
