OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
