I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
