In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
