your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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