Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize