if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
