is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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