the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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