whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
