Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize