the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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