Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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