Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
