There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
