you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
