he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
