sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize