why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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