Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
