the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
