the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
