And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
