Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
