I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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