when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
