just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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