I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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