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just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
