We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
