Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
