I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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