I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
