im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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