I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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