i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
